I fought blogging for a long, long time. I resisted like crazy. But I finally caved. Here's why.
To say that I love animals is an understatement. I've had the great good fortune, as I've done this work, to meet so many others like me, people who just adore animals and want the best for them. Some are colleagues, some are clients, but that love of animals makes us all fellow travelers, a community.
As I've gone through this journey of studying dog and cat behavior--learning what they're trying to tell us, discovering what makes them happy, what makes them stressed, what makes them miserable--I've learned that I have been a crappy pet owner. Okay, maybe not crappy; certainly nothing cruel or abusive, just--ignorant. And I wish so much that I knew then what I know now. My previous pets deserved so much more than I knew how to give them. So, while I was not a bad pet owner, I was... average. A C student. And I never got Cs.
I've also watched the transformation that happens when someone who loves their pet realizes that THIS is what their dog wants, that THIS is what their cat needs, that THIS is what their pet was trying so desperately to communicate to them. Sometimes there's guilt, but it's brief and followed by this amazing connection with the animal they love and live with. It's profound, and amazing, and breathtaking, and it's what I want for every pet owner everywhere.
Why doesn't every pet owner know all this stuff? Two major reasons come up in my practice over, and over, and over again:
1) You don't know what you don't know. There are the things you know that you know, like how to tie your shoes. There are the things that you know you don't know, like how to perform neurosurgery (unless you're a neurosurgeon, of course). And there's the things you don't know that you know--those wonderful "ah-ha" moments when you realize that you have a grasp on something you didn't even know was on your radar. And, finally, there's all the stuff that you don't know you don't know.
I grew up surrounded by dogs. My mother grew up around dogs and taught me all kinds of things about how to interact with dogs, many correct, some not so much. But I knew about dogs. There was certainly nothing about dogs that I would need to know that I didn't know already. Cats, too. I'd always loved cats; when I got my first kitten, I read a booklet about how to care for your kitten. I mean, cats aren't all that complicated, right? So I knew all I needed to know about cats. It wasn't until I started working with them, and HAD to learn more about them, that I realized just how much I didn't know. That I realized just how much I had stressed out our family dog. That I realized how I had, completely unknowingly, caused one of my cats undue distress. I struggled with a lot of guilt. I even cried over my ignorance. But at the end, I realized that I, that we all, just need to keep learning. We have all made mistakes with our animals, and we all will again. But we'll make fewer, and be better equipped to avoid situations we may not have before if we just all remember that we don't know it all. And we still don't know it all. Research studies are turning up new information just about every day. I will never know it all. But that's okay, because I, we, can all just keep learning.
To say that I love animals is an understatement. I've had the great good fortune, as I've done this work, to meet so many others like me, people who just adore animals and want the best for them. Some are colleagues, some are clients, but that love of animals makes us all fellow travelers, a community.
As I've gone through this journey of studying dog and cat behavior--learning what they're trying to tell us, discovering what makes them happy, what makes them stressed, what makes them miserable--I've learned that I have been a crappy pet owner. Okay, maybe not crappy; certainly nothing cruel or abusive, just--ignorant. And I wish so much that I knew then what I know now. My previous pets deserved so much more than I knew how to give them. So, while I was not a bad pet owner, I was... average. A C student. And I never got Cs.
I've also watched the transformation that happens when someone who loves their pet realizes that THIS is what their dog wants, that THIS is what their cat needs, that THIS is what their pet was trying so desperately to communicate to them. Sometimes there's guilt, but it's brief and followed by this amazing connection with the animal they love and live with. It's profound, and amazing, and breathtaking, and it's what I want for every pet owner everywhere.
Why doesn't every pet owner know all this stuff? Two major reasons come up in my practice over, and over, and over again:
1) You don't know what you don't know. There are the things you know that you know, like how to tie your shoes. There are the things that you know you don't know, like how to perform neurosurgery (unless you're a neurosurgeon, of course). And there's the things you don't know that you know--those wonderful "ah-ha" moments when you realize that you have a grasp on something you didn't even know was on your radar. And, finally, there's all the stuff that you don't know you don't know.
I grew up surrounded by dogs. My mother grew up around dogs and taught me all kinds of things about how to interact with dogs, many correct, some not so much. But I knew about dogs. There was certainly nothing about dogs that I would need to know that I didn't know already. Cats, too. I'd always loved cats; when I got my first kitten, I read a booklet about how to care for your kitten. I mean, cats aren't all that complicated, right? So I knew all I needed to know about cats. It wasn't until I started working with them, and HAD to learn more about them, that I realized just how much I didn't know. That I realized just how much I had stressed out our family dog. That I realized how I had, completely unknowingly, caused one of my cats undue distress. I struggled with a lot of guilt. I even cried over my ignorance. But at the end, I realized that I, that we all, just need to keep learning. We have all made mistakes with our animals, and we all will again. But we'll make fewer, and be better equipped to avoid situations we may not have before if we just all remember that we don't know it all. And we still don't know it all. Research studies are turning up new information just about every day. I will never know it all. But that's okay, because I, we, can all just keep learning.
I've also watched the transformation that happens when someone who loves their pet realizes... that THIS is what their pet was trying so desperately to communicate to them.... It's profound, and amazing, and breathtaking, and it's what I want for every pet owner everywhere.
2) Fear and guilt. One thing about animal lovers--they are passionate about animal welfare. That is what drives some to bring animals into their home, some to rescue and foster animals, some to work at or volunteer at animal shelters, and many to do all of the above. The upside, and it's substantial, is a community of people who are working together for the benefit of all species. The downside is that the very passion they feel for non-human animals can drive them to be a little... judgmental of the human ones. I think most, if not all of us, have been met with something like, "Oh, my Gawd, I can't believe you own a [dog/cat/horse/bird] and didn't know that!" It happens on a professional level, too. It all comes from a place of fierce love; but it can lead to people shutting down, not asking questions or seeking information for fear that they should already know that, and there's something wrong with them if they don't.
I hope to entertain, or at least interest you. After all, I spent the first 25 years of my adult life as an entertainer, so I should be able to pull that off. I will strive to bring you content and information and insights that you will enjoy and find interesting. I am not above posting excruciatingly cute pictures of dogs, cats, and other animals, and I hope to keep the squee factor high. And if, along the way, you find out something new, fantastic! If not, I hope you enjoy the content anyway.
I also plan to share my journey, including my mistakes. Because I don't want anyone reading this, or anything I post, thinking that they must be horrible people because they didn't know something. I am very judgmental about deliberate cruelty, and I don't have a soft spot for willful ignorance. But as for the rest--we don't know what we don't know. And we're all in this together.
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